sonic the hedgehog car

Sonic Is Too Fast

I’m not the first one to say this, and I’ve already branded myself as a Nintendo fanboy, so my words will have little bearing. But for all the Sonic nostalgia love, hasn’t anyone realized the concept behind the Sonic games is completely stupid?

Here’s the thing: what is the principle behind Sonic? Go fast. As fast as possible. What happens when you go as fast as possible? You run into spikes. You fall off a cliff. You smash into an enemy. You drop into a lake. You launch into a wall.

Any bonuses you collect are useless because as soon as you touch something bad, you lose them all. You could collect three hundred rings. Touch something, they’re all gone. Not a great cost-benefit analysis to speed.

I think all the love for Sonic is simply based on nostalgia for the Sega Genesis/Super Nintendo days. Remember how great those commercials were? Nintendo had the track record, but Sega had “blast processing” and a much better ad campaign, aimed at the heart of YA boys. He was a popular, appealing mascot. He was designed with ad campaigns in mind. Personally, I think he represented what the nineties were all about. Or what we wanted them to be about. Quickness, heroism, and attitude.