Sorry, I just saw this and I had to share. It combines two of my favorite things–writing and video games. And I’m sure it’s going to be just as exciting. Looks like some kind of Stardew Valley mod, but I’m sure it’s as riveting as writing a real novel. This is the equivalent of my Animal Crossing — Chore Simulator 2000 (and I mean that in a nice way).
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Late to the Game: Grand Theft Auto IV
This game sucks. I tried playing this many years ago, but an irritating video stuttering issue stopped me. I thought I just needed a new graphics card, so I archived it until I got a new computer. Now I got a new computer, and it still plays like crap. I haven’t dived (dove? diven?) into a GTA game in years. Not since Vice City on my PS2 (which I still have). But I don’t remember it like this. I remember vibrant cities and fun stunt ramps and zippy motorcycles and colorful characters (they were misogynist douchebags, but it’s GTA–you have to expect some “unenlightened” material, just like you can’t be…
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Late to the Game: Transistor
I really liked Bastion. I liked the atmosphere. I liked the art style. I liked the fantasy-Western aesthetic. I liked the music. I liked the simple hack-n-slash gameplay combined with the “earn upgrades to get new moves”. I’m a sucker for that kind of game–where the objective is “grow stronger to defeat your enemies”. So when I learned the same developers were creating a follow-up to their breakout hit, I jumped in feet first. It was going to be a little different–a computery cyberpunk feel and starring a slender well-to-do woman. But good art begets another. This game was called “Transistor” and released in 2014. I’ve attempted playing it three…
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Late to the Game: Diablo
So I bought some retro games over the Coronavirus outbreak because my computer is too slow to play anything new (and has been for several years now). One of them was called Diablo, which passed over my radar when it made its big splash in the nineties. I think I played the shareware version of it (ah, ♪shareware♪) , but never got interested. I wasn’t into PC games then. I had an N64 and the world was my oyster. After playing Dusk I’d realized how much I missed my old Doom and Quake clones, so I bought Heretic and Hexen and some others like Warcraft, Warcraft II, and Diablo. The…
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Zelda: You Can’t Save Them All
I’ve noticed a recurring theme in The Legend of Zelda that I’m not sure anyone else has picked up on. The fantasy genre and the dichotomy around the world of heroics and sword-and-sorcery and fairy tales and the like often use this trope, but for Zelda, it’s a little unusual. You can’t save everyone. More to the point, you aren’t allowed to save everyone. The game won’t let you. It’s teaching you a harsh lesson that not everyone gets a happy ending. As the games became more complex, it became easier to bake this story point into each plot, be it either a sidequest or a main twist. It might…
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The Books I Read: January – February 2019
The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo(unfinished) Too cutesy, too moralistic, and it kept running on. I felt like nothing important happened. It’s all stuff I’ve seen before in “little animal befriends a human” stories, like The Littles or The Secret World of Arietty or Stuart Little or any other of the various children’s books I’ve read to my offspring. It’s slow. I was constantly yelling at the book to get on with it. Especially cause the formula was so predictable. I could see it checking off boxes as the narrative went on. Too much set-up, not enough plot. I couldn’t figure out why the book was so popular. It…
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Late to the Game: Baldur’s Gate
So after my disappointment in The Witcher, I decided to try another old RPG — Baldur’s Gate (the enhanced edition). When I was younger I played a co-op game with my friend on the PS2 called Baldur’s Gate. This must have been something different than what I got now, because I remember blasting rats in the basement with magic missiles and getting excited at finding a +2 Sword of Frost that actually froze enemies. This is more like an RTS, like Command & Conquer or Starcraft, except without resource gathering. And you only get six guys. I did actually try this out when I got it, but the tutorial made…
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Late to the Game: The Witcher
I bought this on a Steam sale a LONG, long time ago, as part of a bundle with all the The Witcher games. The Witcher 3 was getting a lot of praise at the time. And I think Wild Hunt had come out? I think that’s like an expansion or the name of the “special edition”. Whatever it is, I finally started it after finishing The Stanley Parable and Torchlight. Well, first there’s the production logos. And then there’s a long cutscene (really a short cartoon) with The Witcher fighting this werewolf thing. It all seems very Van Helsing and Hansel & Gretel. Bunch of impossible jumps, collateral damage, and…
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Why Do I Love Overwatch Even Though I Can’t Play It?
Why do I fall in love with games I don’t have and can’t play? First Five Nights at Freddy’s and now Overwatch. For the past month, I’ve been going over lore, reading the comics, and sighing mournfully over videos. Why? What is it about this video game that fascinates me so? It’s not the competition, I don’t care one whit for pro gaming. I’ve tried watching competitions on ESPN and I can’t keep track of what’s happening. It must be the lore. Mostly it’s the beautiful art and amazing diversity of characters. The game play is nothing new. Everything’s on this side of Team Fortress, which I’m not that fond…
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Late to the Game: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
So when I got my Switch for my birthday, I also got Super Mario Odyssey, Kirby: Star Allies, and The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. When I finished Skyward Sword, I had said no more to Zelda. I was sick of them getting the big new stuff right, but getting the old little things wrong. Like forcing obnoxious motion controls, repetitious & dumbass messages like “you got a red rupee! It’s worth (20) rupees!” for the hundredth time, weird-ass characters like Groose and Ghirahim (as unpleasant as he is unpronounceable). But everyone’s declared Breath of the Wild the bestest game on the Switch, nay, mayhaps the world, 10/10,…
