Riddle Me This, O Change Machine

Okay, let me know if this makes sense to you, because it doesn’t to me.

I need some quarters so I can put 25 cents into one of those gumball machine apparatuses and get a handful of Reese’s Pieces.  I like Reese’s Pieces, but my supply of metallic tender gets limited, since I don’t like to jingle when I walk. 

But I have dollars and a change machine.  So I put the dollar into the change machine.  It gleefully accepts the paper with a sonorous buzz and deposits… one coin.  At first I think “uh-oh, the machine broke, and I’m out 25 cents”.  Then I look at the coin.  It’s almost the size of a quarter–almost–and isn’t completely round.  Now I think I’m screwed because the thing’s popping out Canadian coins.  No, it’s an American dollar coin.  Not the gold one with Sacajewea, but a US dollar coin with some old broad on it.

I put a dollar bill into the change machine and got a dollar coin in return.

Do you think that’s right?  Do you think that’s what I wanted?  Do you think I put I have too many flat bills, I’ll exchange them for some smaller, heavier, louder coins?  Because there’s so many machines that take a dollar coin, or even know what one is.  Especially the Reese’s Pieces machine. 

This is why the American economy is going to shit.  It’s not health care reform.  It’s not the bank bailout or the car manufacturers.  It’s because the change machine gives you a dollar coin for your dollar bill.

Eric Juneau is a software engineer and novelist on his lunch breaks. In 2016, his first novel, Merm-8, was published by eTreasures. He lives in, was born in, and refuses to leave, Minnesota. You can find him talking about movies, video games, and Disney princesses at http://www.ericjuneaubooks.com where he details his journey to become a capital A Author.

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