All my life, I’ve been trying to figure out why I am the way I am. I guess that’s what everyone is asking. It’s the question at the heart of every piece of fiction–who am I? But the whole reason we ask ourselves this question is that we’re trying to find out what we can do about it. Where do we fit in? Who is our tribe? Who are our people? Like the ugly duckling that keeps getting rejected by every social group, not knowing it belongs with the swans. Before, I talked about how difficult it is to make friends because no one seems to be interested in the…
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I’m Not Even Sure I Want to Be an Author Anymore
These days I don’t even know how much I want to keep going. And by “keep going” I mean continue the dream of becoming a published author. And it’s probably because I came across this… I can’t do that. I don’t want to do that. And all that’s WITH the publisher doing its fair share. $30,000 out of your own account? Money is supposed to flow toward the writer, not out. 90% chance he did not make money from this book. And yes, this is an established author, but it’s also not part of a series, so I’ve got to believe it’s close to what a debut author would have…
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Why Am I So Bad at Strategy Games?
Why am I so bad at strategy games? Actually, a lot of games I’m bad at, but in particular, anything involving strategy, tactics, movement, or placement. That means Stratego, Memoir ’44, Castles of Burgundy, 7 Wonders Duel, Patchwork, Hive. I can’t win one. I once stumbled onto the Fool’s Mate playing the computer in Chess. Any game that forces you to think one, two, three, any number of steps ahead, not going to happen. I can barely think about what I’m going to do on my turn, let alone someone else’s turn, and then the forked paths after that. I’m not good at the computer games either–Command & Conquer, Warcraft,…
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The Quality of Short Stories (is impressive)
Men want a lady in the streets but a vixen in the sheets. Readers want a poet in the short stories but trash in the novels. Case in point: In my research and experience on short stories, it feels like you can get away with “bad writing” in novels. Case in point: E.L. James, Twilight, and this from Colleen Hoover. But for short stories, you need to curlicue and detail every sentence until it shines like an insane piece of art made by an autistic person. I guess people who write short stories (or maybe those who edit them) demand higher quality. This is what they mean when these agents…
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Short Fiction Banes
I just started writing these short stories and they’re already kicking my ass. The blank page has never been scarier. I feel like I’m not a real writer when I write these and when I do fulfill it, it feels like crap. Well, not crap per se, but unpublishable stuff. Who’s going to read a dwarf detective story? Every day I come to the blank page and do everything I can to avoid writing. And now I’ve got to come to the blank page once a week. I realize I’ve got no plot for any of these concepts. No story. Nothing that’s going to get published anywhere. I don’t know…
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Are Plastic Bags Tougher Than They Used to Be?
Everything is too hard to open these days. Cereal, graham cracker bags, potato chip bags, rice, they’re all too hard to open. When I was younger, I could just pull them apart. Now I can’t do it without exerting more strength than Hercules. Am I weaker? No, I shouldn’t be. I’m not that old. Did someone improve the quality of plastic packaging in the last few years? If so, unimprove it. I don’t know about you but I can’t open a damn thing these days without scissors. Oh, I’m sure companies will say “As a service to our customers we improved the quality of our plastic bags to ensure freshness…
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Why Do the Loudest Always Win
In another episode in “Eric Never Gets What He Wants”… “[Canada] Bill’s longtime partner, George Devol, stumbled across Bill losing his shirt in a clearly rigged poker game. George tried to convince Bill to quit the game, arguing he couldn’t possible win. Bill famously retorted ‘I know it’s crooked, but it’s the only game in town’.” When I read on Facebook that there was going to be a D&D Adventurer’s Guild at my local game shop, I was excited. Finally, a chance to play D&D, maybe make some friends. I love playing RPGs but I never get the chance because no one around me is like me. There is nothing…
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Gardens are Stupid
Remember how in WWII we all had to have victory gardens? What am I saying, of course you remember it. They sound neat (and patriotic to boot) but they were just vegetable gardens you used so grocery produce could go to the soldiers. Like liberty cabbage and freedom fries. They were useless and ineffectual, just like real gardens. I’m here to tell you gardens are bullshit. Don’t try to grow one. Not even a little indoor hydroponic herb garden. They aren’t worth it. Not for all the work you got to put in and the crappy results you get. Leave it to the farmers to grow your vegetables and fruit…
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Trying to Start the Next One
Well, here I am again, hiding from my novel. I’m ready to start my next one, I guess, but I’m… not ready. Today I didn’t really write. Just checked my e-mail, dinked around on Reddit, copied a few tips about writing the opening scene. You couldn’t even call it phoning it in. I wasn’t anywhere near the phone. It’s a lot of commitment to make a novel. It takes about 3-4 months to make one (~1,000 words a day for 90,000 words = 90 days – weekends and days off and bad writing days and so on). Is this one going to work? Or is it going to be another…
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Getting Too Old For This…
It’s hard writing around the Christmas season. Besides being pulled in a bunch of different directions, I’m in a bit of a transition phase. Replaneted‘s submission package is done being prepped. But I’ve been disappointed in the response. Essentially speaking, IT’S FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE TO WRITE A QUERY LETTER AND SYNOPSIS. You leave out so much. In a novel, it’s not big events that lead to motivations. It’s subtle stuff. For example, one critique that’s really bothering me says that my protagonist doesn’t sound like she has a lot of volition. That’s a fundamental problem, but it’s a fundamental part of the story. Because she’s a victim to her circumstances. But…
