• The Quality of Short Stories (is impressive)

    Men want a lady in the streets but a vixen in the sheets. Readers want a poet in the short stories but trash in the novels. Case in point: In my research and experience on short stories, it feels like you can get away with “bad writing” in novels. Case in point: E.L. James, Twilight, and this from Colleen Hoover. But for short stories, you need to curlicue and detail every sentence until it shines like an insane piece of art made by an autistic person. I guess people who write short stories (or maybe those who edit them) demand higher quality. This is what they mean when these agents…

  • sad writer black and white

    Short Fiction Banes

    I just started writing these short stories and they’re already kicking my ass. The blank page has never been scarier. I feel like I’m not a real writer when I write these and when I do fulfill it, it feels like crap. Well, not crap per se, but unpublishable stuff. Who’s going to read a dwarf detective story? Every day I come to the blank page and do everything I can to avoid writing. And now I’ve got to come to the blank page once a week. I realize I’ve got no plot for any of these concepts. No story. Nothing that’s going to get published anywhere. I don’t know…

  • ripping plastic package

    Are Plastic Bags Tougher Than They Used to Be?

    Everything is too hard to open these days. Cereal, graham cracker bags, potato chip bags, rice, they’re all too hard to open. When I was younger, I could just pull them apart. Now I can’t do it without exerting more strength than Hercules. Am I weaker? No, I shouldn’t be. I’m not that old. Did someone improve the quality of plastic packaging in the last few years? If so, unimprove it. I don’t know about you but I can’t open a damn thing these days without scissors. Oh, I’m sure companies will say “As a service to our customers we improved the quality of our plastic bags to ensure freshness…

  • cartoon boy yelling

    Why Do the Loudest Always Win

    In another episode in “Eric Never Gets What He Wants”… “[Canada] Bill’s longtime partner, George Devol, stumbled across Bill losing his shirt in a clearly rigged poker game. George tried to convince Bill to quit the game, arguing he couldn’t possible win. Bill famously retorted ‘I know it’s crooked, but it’s the only game in town’.” When I read on Facebook that there was going to be a D&D Adventurer’s Guild at my local game shop, I was excited. Finally, a chance to play D&D, maybe make some friends. I love playing RPGs but I never get the chance because no one around me is like me. There is nothing…

  • crappy garden

    Gardens are Stupid

    Remember how in WWII we all had to have victory gardens? What am I saying, of course you remember it. They sound neat (and patriotic to boot) but they were just vegetable gardens you used so grocery produce could go to the soldiers. Like liberty cabbage and freedom fries. They were useless and ineffectual, just like real gardens. I’m here to tell you gardens are bullshit. Don’t try to grow one. Not even a little indoor hydroponic herb garden. They aren’t worth it. Not for all the work you got to put in and the crappy results you get. Leave it to the farmers to grow your vegetables and fruit…

  • Trying to Start the Next One

    Well, here I am again, hiding from my novel. I’m ready to start my next one, I guess, but I’m… not ready. Today I didn’t really write. Just checked my e-mail, dinked around on Reddit, copied a few tips about writing the opening scene. You couldn’t even call it phoning it in. I wasn’t anywhere near the phone. It’s a lot of commitment to make a novel. It takes about 3-4 months to make one (~1,000 words a day for 90,000 words = 90 days – weekends and days off and bad writing days and so on). Is this one going to work? Or is it going to be another…

  • bite computer frustrated

    Getting Too Old For This…

    It’s hard writing around the Christmas season. Besides being pulled in a bunch of different directions, I’m in a bit of a transition phase. Replaneted‘s submission package is done being prepped. But I’ve been disappointed in the response. Essentially speaking, IT’S FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE TO WRITE A QUERY LETTER AND SYNOPSIS. You leave out so much. In a novel, it’s not big events that lead to motivations. It’s subtle stuff. For example, one critique that’s really bothering me says that my protagonist doesn’t sound like she has a lot of volition. That’s a fundamental problem, but it’s a fundamental part of the story. Because she’s a victim to her circumstances. But…

  • grocery store checkout

    Goddamn Grocery Store Wasting My Time

    Today I was in the grocery store (something I can do in the middle of the day having no job and all) and since it was the middle of the day that means it’s all old ladies. Both servicing and being serviced. I was in the checkout line, and got behind two old wrinkled blue hairs. And they’ve all got their specialty items like organic frozen yogurt and non-GMO chicken and three boxes of Pagoda won tons. And they’re all slow about it because they’re old ladies. Slowly swiping stuff across the scanner. Slowly getting out the savings card. Slowly putting items in the bag. Slowly opening the bag. Slowly…

  • maudlin crying baby

    Maudlin Should Be an “-ing” Verb

    I guess I am kinda doing NaNoWriMo this year, but I’m not keeping track of my word count. There’s not really a point. I started late, since I was outlining for the first week. But I am in the middle of writing a novel in this November. I’m not really feeling it yet, but I’m hoping that’s because the personalities aren’t established yet. Or the main characters aren’t supposed to have chemistry in this first act. Been feeling real low lately. Lots of down-spiraling things in my life just making it crappy. Most of all is work. Now there’s nothing wrong with my work, it’s just stuck in a rut.…

  • naga slit eyes

    Finished Naga Story

    Well, I finished naga story. No title yet (besides “Naga Hide” which is a bit too heady of a pun still). I’m not sure when I started (sometime in June?) but I was getting down 1700-1800 words per day consistently in the last quarter of it. It’s a full manuscript, rough draft as it is. 90,061 words. Just barely squeaked over that 90K mark, even though I had 70+ scenes. And it’s shite. It’s just shite, all of it. Remember how I said every word sounded juvenile and unsophisticated and disposable. Yeah, that never got better. Shite’s the only word I can call it, it’s the most appropriate. I don’t…