Why am I so bad at strategy games?
Actually, a lot of games I’m bad at, but in particular, anything involving strategy, tactics, movement, or placement. That means Stratego, Memoir ’44, Castles of Burgundy, 7 Wonders Duel, Patchwork, Hive. I can’t win one. I once stumbled onto the Fool’s Mate playing the computer in Chess. Any game that forces you to think one, two, three, any number of steps ahead, not going to happen. I can barely think about what I’m going to do on my turn, let alone someone else’s turn, and then the forked paths after that. I’m not good at the computer games either–Command & Conquer, Warcraft, Battlefield. Why can I map out a story for 90,000 words but not a game? Is it because I lack spatial intelligence?
Maybe it’s hard. Maybe that’s because I can’t do it. If you want to get remembered in this world, if you want fame and recognition, you have to be good at something. And the only thing I’m good at is writing. And I’m not even sure if I’m that good at writing because I can’t get published. But generals and commanders get the credit and the power. If you can manipulate people, you win. You get a cult of people willing to die for you no matter what, like Donald Trump or Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk. But it’s not fair that only a certain kind of people get to win at life.
And here I am condemned to be a soldier. Just a grunt digging ditches, doing the hard work. One among many. Not a leader. But we need leaders because we have so few of them. And if no one else is going to do it, then I have to. It can’t just be a life of painting miniatures and dinking around with board games. So many of us are just Pikmin, consuming and dying and being a waste. Not helping humanity get better.
Are there any games I do win at? No. All my life, I feel like I’ve been a jack-of-all-trades, master of none. A red mage. Someone who can never be exceptional, but can do a little bit of everything. But only at the most basic level. I never win at Legendary because I’m too busy thinking about making a good deck.
The reason I get frustrated is that I see this as a weakness. And a weakness has to be overcome. Otherwise, someone will exploit it. That’s what you do in war–exploit other guys’ weaknesses and mistakes. If I can’t compensate for my weakness, I will always be a loser.
And I’m not getting better. I play 10 games of Hive in a row, I lose all of them. I’m not understanding anything. It’s just moving little hexes around. Opponent makes a move I never saw or realized was going to happen and I yell at the screen. If I can’t learn what I’m doing wrong, then I can’t change. If I can’t change then I can’t get better. If I can’t get better, then I’ll just be a nobody.
