Well, here I am again, hiding from my novel. I’m ready to start my next one, I guess, but I’m… not ready.
Today I didn’t really write. Just checked my e-mail, dinked around on Reddit, copied a few tips about writing the opening scene. You couldn’t even call it phoning it in. I wasn’t anywhere near the phone.
It’s a lot of commitment to make a novel. It takes about 3-4 months to make one (~1,000 words a day for 90,000 words = 90 days – weekends and days off and bad writing days and so on). Is this one going to work? Or is it going to be another failure like the seven others I’ve written. Each time I write something I am a little less motivated to write it because I haven’t sold a damn thing in so long. And now even Replaneted, which I thought was going to be my best one, hasn’t even gotten a partial request yet.
But if I don’t write, what am I going to do with my lunch hours? Am I going to play video games all day. Just sit on fat unproductive ass, never giving anything back to the world to make myself remembered?
I’m just so frustrated at putting in all this work and not getting anything for it. It feels like playing handball against the curtains. And I feel like I’ve reached a plateau in my story-telling ability. The last three works I made felt so similar in terms of quality, I’m not sure I’m improving as a writer. I need to learn to write “beautifully”, but how am I supposed to learn that. Where is the class on “writing beautifully”?