• save a virgin do me instead shirt

    72 Virgins Would Be Horrible

    I know, I know, it’s a myth that the Koran says if you die promoting Islam, 72 virgins await you in Heaven, and that’s where all the extremists come from. Total lie. That doesn’t mean media doesn’t perpetuate it. Mostly for purposes of comedy these days. Along with the more common tropes of “virgin sacrifice”, “virgin stupid” and others. But I was thinking the other day, wouldn’t this be horrible? You die, and you go to a place with 72 women (I’m making assumptions about orientation here. Substitute your favorite gender where appropriate). I’m not going to make the cliche joke of 72 shrews complaining and nagging. Let’s assume they’re…

  • fantasy football logo

    My Fantasy Football Team This Year

    So I had my Fantasy Football draft last night. Here’s the 2011-2012 edition of Juneau’s Juggernauts. Philip Rivers (QB) – San Diego Chargers -A modest leader. He is taking the role of the quarterback after the former was shot during a failed revolution. Although unfamiliar with the position, Rivers must attempt to be a strong presence in a chaotic land. But will he be able to succeed when he finds out that one of his futrue opponents is his own father? Miles Austin (WR) – Dallas Cowboys -Miles Austin is the pseudonym of a yorbagatrax — an alien trying to learn human ways. He learned that the biggest difference between…

  • herbie the love bug christine plymouth fury

    Herbie Loves Christine

    You know what’d be an awesome concept for a movie?  If Herbie the Love Bug fell in love with Christine, the murdering car from the Stephen King novel/movie. Herbie’s a cute, innocent guy from the suburbs.  He doesn’t have much for power, but he’s got a lot of heart, and he’ll never give up on you.  He’s a “love” bug, after all. Christine, however, is a girl from the wrong side of the tracks.  You fuck her over, she will ride into your living room, climb up your stairs, and dig her front tires into your lungs. But Herbie sees Christine at the [INSERT NAME OF GENERIC INTERNATIONAL CAR RACE…

  • green lantern flying

    Green Lantern’s Poor Performance Review

    Okay, I’m no expert, but here’s how I see it. Green Lantern got his powers when the previous protector of the Earth-zone-sector crashed to Earth and gave Hal Jordan (or whoever) the magic ring that chose him as the new protector. Before this, no one had ever heard of the Green Lantern, the planet had no aliens, nothing attacking it, no giant yellow clouds or sinister aliens bucking to destroy some shit. But gee, after the new GL became human, there’s all kinds of shit attacking the world. Does someone want to investigate this guy’s work-ethic? Maybe evaluate his performance. Whoever these aliens are that watch all the Green Lanterns,…

  • ariel trident fighter aquatic

    Disney Princess Warriors

    Somebody please, please make a comic or video game or something out of this: Can you imagine it?  Aurora the wrestler, master of grappling and judo.  Tiana the gunner, firearms expert with military training.  Pocahantas, traveled North America to learn the fighting arts of the Crow, Apache, Comanche, and so on.  Belle the kickboxer.  Jasmine has the backing of middle eastern bedouins and deadly with a scimitar.  Ariel, imbued with superhero-esque qualities due to her magic, including armor and trident weapon.  Snow White, a boxer from the mean inner-city streets.  Cinderella, a blade-woman who’s always got a weapon tucked away somewhere. Someone’s gotta run with this.  Please? Source: joshwmc’s Deviant…

  • ned flanders head

    Here’s a Scary Thought

    Here’s a scary thought: what if the Rapture really did happen and we just didn’t notice it?  What if every time there’s a predicted end of the world, it actually happens?  It’s just that 99.99999999% of the world is either non-Christian or sinners.  It’s not a big leap, not everyone follows everything in the bible (even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff) so no one got raptured?  And no one will ever get raptured?  We’re all going to hell? What if there was a rapture and no body came?

  • Meh

    There’s no reason for me not to have made an entry for a while, besides there’s simply nothing to write about.  Just pre-writing, reading, and doing the same old same old.  So enjoy this link to Blogger Beware, a snarky review of all the Goosebumps books ever horribly written.

  • Things In My Life Right Now

    Oh, what’s going on in my life these days… BIOSHOCK 2 Playing Bioshock 2 in my video games, kinda gave up on Bully for a while because it was slower, older, and hard to control on a keyboard. It’s a storyline sequel, not one that improves or innovates much new stuff. A lot of people say that’s bad, but I don’t really care about that. If the story is different and there’s a few gameplay modifications, that’s all right in my book. Especially if it’s a story like Bioshock. But my problem is they didn’t take out a bad part of the game — the stupid morality choices. Everything’s still…

  • grouchland landscape

    My Revelation about Grouches

    I have small kids, in case you couldn’t tell.  This means we watch some children-oriented programming around the house.  This is fine by me because A) I love family programming and B) because of A, I know what to look for.  This means Sesame Street is a staple of our house, and Dora the Explorer is not. Individual episodes are fun, but movies are better, because they’re longer.  There are currently only two Sesame Street movies out there: Follow That Bird, which is a bit harder to follow for my kids because it has a coherent plot and doesn’t talk down (this is a good thing).  And Elmo in Grouchland,…