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    50 More Tweets

    Previous Editions: First, Second Lego is launching a product line for girls. Someone should tell them that they already have one; its called legos.— Michael Labriola (@mlabriola) December 18, 2011 Has Santa EVER managed to make it through Christmas without the help of some random childrens’ show character(s)? #fb— Jim C. Hines (@jimchines) December 23, 2011 Someone sent me a Tonberry and some t-shirts for my birthday! Thank you!— Noah Antwiler (@TheSpoonyOne) December 26, 2011 Wait, is that Tonberry moving? OSHI– #EverybodysGrudge— Noah Antwiler (@TheSpoonyOne) December 26, 2011 I Predict! With The Muppets a smash hit, professional puppetry will soon be flooded with cynical bastards just out for a buck.—…

  • My Top Ten Hottest Women Who Aren’t Real (4 through 1)

    4. Naru Naru Narusegawa (such a cute name) is the main character in Love Hina. Love Hina is a “harem” anime where one geeky guy, Keitaro Urashima, is forced to landlord five nubile young women who may or may not be trying to seduce him. It’s a typical sitcom if it was written by every high school boy. Naru Narusegawa is the center of this harem — a driven student with no time for the Keitaro’s accidental perversion or romantic interests. Except when she starts to realize that he’s a nice guy. Which is what we all want out of a girl — to see that after our nervousness and…

  • fan fiction demotivation

    Featured Fan Fiction: The Complete Set

    Well, I’ve finished my Featured Fan Fiction series, so here’s the complete set. If you need more to whet your appetite, try looking at the authors and stories I’ve favorited on FanFiction.net. There’s more there than what I’ve featured, and it’s all worth a look. The Intro Mortal Kombat: “The Coming of Winter” Final Fantasy VIII: “Sowing the SeeDs” Final Fantasy VII: “Sunshine in Winter” Neon Genesis Evangelion: “EVA-R” Final Fantasy VII: “Devotion” Final Fantasy VIII: “Crimson Lies” Trigun: “When Dreams Change” Final Fantasy VIII: “Balamb Garden’s Yuletide Vacation” Final Fantasy VII: “Deus Ex Jenova” Neon Genesis Evangelion: “The One I Love Is…” Final Fantasy VIII: “Castles in the Sky”…

  • squall rinoa final fantasy 8 fanart

    Featured Fan Fiction: Castles in the Sky (Final Fantasy 8)

    Ashbear is the premiere Final Fantasy 8 writer and this is her top story. In fact, this might be THE top story. Let me explain. When I was younger and had way too much time on my hands, I wanted to read good fan fiction. Unfortunately, FanFiction.net, the premiere source for fan fiction, does not have a way to rank stories. You can add favorites, you can post reviews. But there’s no objective way to tell whether a story is well-liked or not. I always thought the site should at least have some sort of “Blam” functionality, like Newgrounds has, where works below a certain rating are deleted. So what…

  • aeris cloud tifa

    Featured Fan Fiction: Deus Ex Jenova (Final Fantasy 7)

    I mentioned this story briefly as an inspiration for Milk and Honey, but that was just the sex part. Deus Ex Jenova is not about sex, though it has sexuality. In fact, it doesn’t have that much sex except at the end, as an addendum and a response to the prudish nature of modern American literature, when most classic literature was basically pornography without pictures. They had to make do with veiled metaphors and alluding language. But I digress. It’s much more than just a spot of naughty. It’s a full-fledged story that employs several no-no tropes, like resurrecting Aeris (don’t worry, that’s not a spoiler), original characters that save…

  • aeris

    Final Fantasy – I Once Loved You

    Final Fantasy – I loved you, but I don’t anymore, and more people are agreeing with me. I think I know why you’re starting to fail. Your reach is exceeding your grasp. I think you caught lightning in a bottle once, and now you don’t know how to get it back. You keep flailing about, adding more stuff, more stuff, more stuff, more stuff, more stuff hoping one of them sticks. More stuff than one man can possibly play through. Here’s the thing: Just because the disc is 25 gigs, doesn’t mean you have to fill all that. I remember watching a Star Trek documentary, with Malcolm McDowell commenting on…

  • squall and rinoa final fantasy 8

    Featured Fan Fiction: Crimson Lies (Final Fantasy 8)

    Crimson Lies comes to us from Ashbear, the premiere writer of FF8 fan fiction on FF.net. I think the reason she’s so popular is that she knows her romance, and she does this by concentrating on the most redeeming aspect of Final Fantasy 8 — the love story between Squall and Rinoa. The key to making a good fan fiction is by staying true to the characters, and the key to a good love story is by keeping the characters apart. I guess it’s like the equivalent of dread for a horror story. It’s all about elongating the experience. Crimson Lies takes place after the events of Final Fantasy 8…

  • vincent hold yuffie final fantasy 7

    Featured Fan Fiction: Sunshine in Winter (Final Fantasy VII)

    Sunshine in Winter, written by Guardian1, is nice because it’s short (40,000 words) , but it’s packed to the brim with humor, pathos, passion, and drama. The story is about Yuffie, an extra, but beloved, character from Final Fantasy VII, who fills in the requisite “spunky tomboy” role in all JRPGs and most animes. Her romantic pairing is Vincent Valentine, the “dark, brooding lone wolf” character. Through a silly accident, Selphie’s leg becomes poisoned. Rather than amputate, since she’s a ninja, and leglessness doesn’t contribute to her line of work (there’s no workman’s comp for ninjutsu), she maintains an obstinant attitude that she can be cured. Vincent wordlessly takes care…

  • quistis final fantasy 8

    Featured Fan Fiction: Sowing the SeeDs (Final Fantasy 8)

    Our next story is called “Sowing the SeeDs” by Greenbeans, A.K.A. Amanda Anderson. If you’re not familiar with the Final Fantasy 8 universe, yes, that last D is supposed to capitalized. But no, it’s not an acronym or anything. I don’t know how to explain it, it’s this whole thing. Sowing the SeeDs is a prequel to FF8 and is the story of Xu. She’s not an original character, but she might as well be because this story gives her a ton of backstory. Xu is about to graduated from Garden (a school for mercenaries) and has been charged with taking care of a young prodigy named Quistis. As they…

  • kingdom hearts box cover

    Video Game Memories #28: Kingdom Hearts

    Kingdom Hearts (2002) The first thing I noticed, when I saw/heard about Kingdom Hearts, was the return of all my favorite Final Fantasy characters, who had grown to legendary status in my mind by this point. Squall, Cloud, Aeris (I’ll never call her Aerith), Yuffie, Cid, Sephiroth. The second thing was “They have voices!? Squee!” Imagine it. After years of reading text, and everyone having the voice in my head, I get to hear what Squall sounds like, see how Cloud uses that big sword, what a real-life casting of Fira looks like. And they didn’t use just run-of-the-mill voice actors, they had celebrities. Squall was David Boreanaz, Aeris was…