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Angrily Jealous

Angrily Jealous

So Lindsay Ellis, who I’ve talked about before, just announced that she sold a book, a fiction book, and it’ll be published in 2020. I should be happy about that. One of my favorite YouTubers, who makes insightful and thought-provoking analyses of nostalgic films and film theory, has a book coming out. And instead of being happy, I find myself being angry and insanely jealous. Why?

I know it wasn’t like it was easy for her. She says it took ten years to get the book published. I’ve been doing this since 2006. I’ve written a half-dozen novels, collected rejections. Did she get this just because she’s got semi-celebrity status? Do I have to get a Hugo nomination just to get something in a bookstore? I can’t tell if I’m angry because A) you apparently have to put so much work into a book only the workaholics can do it, the ones who make writing their fulltime job with no safety net or B) I’m just unlucky (or bad at writing).

Of course, I know all these are completely irrational. I should be happy for her. I should be happy for me because I’ll get to read a book by her. But then seeing all these congratulations from people on Twitter (big names like John Scalzi and Hank Green) makes me angrily jealous.

I’m the bad guy.

Eric J. Juneau

Eric Juneau is a software engineer and novelist on his lunch breaks. In 2016, his first novel, Merm-8, was published by eTreasures. He lives in, was born in, and refuses to leave, Minnesota. You can find him talking about movies, video games, and Disney princesses at http://author-quest.blogspot.com where he details his journey to become a capital A Author.


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