Audio logs. I’m sick of them. Stop using them. Tell the story through the narrative, or don’t tell it at all. What is it with one good game using a mechanic, and every video game after it copies them, but totally misses why it worked in the other game. Not that it really worked in the other game. Okay, now I’m rambling. Here’s why audio logs don’t work. First, they don’t make sense in the world. They’re ludonarrative dissonance. Those things have got to be expensive. Who the fuck is lugging around these giant tape recorders and record players, and leaving them there in freezers, bars, barrels, trash cans? Just…
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The Gordian Freeman Knot of Half-Life 3
People want Half-Life 3. They’ve gone past hoping, past pleading. At this point they are ANGRY at Valve for not working on it. There isn’t even a game made yet. There doesn’t appear to be plans for one. At first people just wanted Episode 3 — a two hour add-on to conclude the story of Half-Life 2. Something to bring resolution to Eli Vance’s sacrifice and tie up the loose ends. Maybe even throw in a few Portal references. But that ship has sailed, and now Half-Life 3 is the only way to satisfy the fans, in return for the time spent waiting. It’s been nine years since it was…
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Video Game Memories #30: Portal
Portal (2007) After playing FFX-2, I decided to give up the RPG ghost. Games were getting too long, and they just weren’t fun anymore. Playing the New Game+ on FFX-2, and endlessly leveling up my characters so they had all the jobs, I realized that the cost of an excellent story wasn’t worth the repetitive gameplay. It’s either you’re leveled up enough to always win, or not leveled up enough, then you lose and have to start over. Which, with my dwindling time, was not an option. Plus the games had so much cool stuff in them, you could never get to it all – you’d have to grind and…
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Video Game Memories #27: Half-Life
Half-Life (1998) Hopefully, you’ve all read my manifesto on Half-Life 2’s Storyline (and lack thereof). It’s like a premise with no plot. There were a lot of questions left in prequel, and even more provoked by the sequel that were never answered. It lacked the compulsion to care about what you were doing, and with the exception of Alyx (who doesn’t shine until the subsequent episodes). You don’t care why you do anything or about anyone, even yourself. So what’s my take on Half-Life 1? Well, let’s see… I first got the game for Christmas. My mom told me the guy in Best Buy recommended it, because for the first…
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Late to the Game: Bioshock: The First Impressions
I bought Bioshock on Steam for five dollars a week or two ago. I remember it won the GameSpot story of the year award, so I thought “Hey, five dollars. Can’t pass that up.” (Portal was $2.99. Jesum crow, now you have no excuse!) Unfortunately, my five dollars only went so far, as I found out my computer was too old for the game. So I had to buy a new video card to play the game decently, which cost me as much as if I’d bought the game new. Oh well, at least I’ll be able to play new games as well (where’s HL2: Episode 3? Come on, I…
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The Storytelling in Half-Life 2: To You I Say thhbppt
Let’s talk about Half-Life 2 for a minute, and hopefully its still current enough we don’t have to jump into the Wayback Machine. I bought The Orange Box as my reward for getting a new job. I really just wanted to play Portal, because the Internet community can’t shut up about it, and I know they’re offering the individual games up soon, but I didn’t want to wait (I couldn’t since I have a two month old and no time), plus it was a hell of a bargain – Half-Life 2 + Episode 1 + Episode 2 + Team Fortress + Portal. I just got finished playing all the Half-Life…
