• trigger warning explicit content

    Some Thoughts on Trigger Warnings

    I’ve never experienced enough trauma to need a trigger warning. To be like, I was just reading this book and all of a sudden the main character got sexually assaulted or had an eating disorder and I suddenly recalled some bad memories. But I have experienced trauma. Everyone has and I am no different. But I do not expect the world to change because I have a problem. The world is not my therapist, it should not take on the responsibility for my feelings. The reason I hate trigger warnings is that they spoil things. They make me know what’s coming, what to anticipate. If I’m reading a novel about…

  • ballet feet slippers en pointe

    Why is Dance so Useless?

    Here’s a controversial opinion: dance is the most pointless form of art. I don’t get the connection between the medium and the evocation of some kind of emotion or message. There’s music playing and people flailing their bodies at the same time. They look like apes in a zoo. But say you hate ballet and you’re uncultured and unsophisticated. Forget that every one was written a hundred years ago (have you ever heard of a new ballet?). Swan Lake, Sleeping Beauty, Nutcracker. Why are they still performing dances from antiquated cultures? Everyone thinks Shakespeare was the greatest, but people still write new plays. Do you know any dancers? Even on…

  • grand theft auto hands

    So Bye Bye, Fucking GTA Guy

    SecurRom errors, Social Club forced login, Games for Windows, and top of it all, the game won’t stop stuttering. I bought Grand Theft Auto IV for about $30 during a Steam Summer Sale, but haven’t played it till now. I’ve been dinking with Borderlands and Star Wars. Steam says I’ve spent seventy minutes playing the game, but that’s a lie. I’ve spent seventy minutes trying to get the damn game to run. Imagine your game running as a low-frame-rate animated GIF I’ve tried windowed mode, various launch options, disabling VRAM, limiting frame rates, turning Vsync on and off, lowering the resolution. Nope, the same damn graphic stutter keeps going. Everyone…

  • cover story book

    The Day That Never Comes

    You ever have those days where everything on your body itches? Like little gnats are nipping you? Or spots of your skin are dry? And then you get irritated and depressed? I feel like that these days. Even though I’m writing like a madman, I feel like I’m making no progress. I’ve got 100,000 words of written prose that won’t see the light of page, it’s all fan fiction. Plus it’s nowhere near done yet. Plus my acceptance rate’s been low. My high was 17% at one time. Now it’s steadily dropped to 4% in the last six months. Haven’t been getting feedback from any agents or ideas. It’s been…

  • snooze button

    The Snooze Button

    I frickin’ hate the snooze button.  I don’t use it, and I don’t think you should either. First of all, it’s the biggest damn button on the clock.  When my alarm goes off, I don’t want it to come back, I want it to turn off permanently.  I don’t want to get ready then, ten minutes later, wonder why I hear the radio upstairs.  Why do they make the “alarm reset” button the same size as all the others, but “snooze” is eight miles wide?  You have to maneuver like a blind man to avoid pressing it. And why set an alarm if you’re going to turn it off anyway?…

  • pilot light fire

    Lighting the Pilot Light

    It’s getting difficult these days to motivate myself to write.  Once I sit down, I have no problems.  Thank god for that hour per day set aside for lunch.  But if I eliminated that, I’d have trouble plunking down and getting started.  For one, too many distractions on the Internet.  But that’s every writer’s foil.  The harder part is that it seems I’m getting no feedback. I’m not talking about critiques or helpful rejections.  I’m just talking about responses.  Seems like the places I send to are taking longer and longer to send back.  Months at a time.  Magazines typically fall outside their average and estimated response times. I started…

  • dustin hoffman exasperated

    The Worst Movies I’ve Ever Seen

    The other day, my wife was talking about the worst movies that her parents had ever seen (the winner was something called Zardoz). But then she said their worst movie probably wouldn’t hold a candle to what I’ve seen. She tells the truth — The Evil Dead, Night of the Creeps, and Dragon Half are just some of the staples in my DVD library. And those are the ones I like. Even though it’s easy to make a bad movie, no one’s really sure how. Some involved people whose head was up their own ass, making “films” with a “message”. Some knew they were making trash and didn’t care. Some…

  • pawn stars

    Pawn Stars Lies

    Okay. Television. There’s a lot of reasons why you’re having trouble getting viewers. TiVo, over-saturation of options (not just cable, but Internet too), stilted writers, lengthy commercial breaks, piracy, and a slew of other things. So you’ve got to do your best to make people watch. Here’s the quickest way to get me not to watch. Lie to me. Para ejemplo, I was watching Pawn Stars the other night. During one of the commercial teasers, they were talking about a jet fighter G-Suit someone brought in, and they showed the “expert” they always bring in looking around it and it ends with: “And what’s this under the helmet?”. I, being…

  • froggy's baby sister

    Froggy’s Baby Sister Sucks

    You know, I am really sick of men/boys/males condescending to girls for… really, no reason. The reason I’m cheesed off is that there’s this book I’m often reading to my two girls — Froggy’s Baby Sister by Jonathan London. You can hear the full-text read aloud here. It bothers me because its got some stereotypical lines where the male lead does not like his baby sister for the sole reason that she’s a girl. That wouldn’t be so bad if the story showed she was just as awesome because she’s a girl, but it never does. Even if it did redeem that, I’d still have a problem. I don’t know…

  • raphael sai gritty realistic holding sai wrong

    A Lesson on Proper Sai Technique

    Okay, here’s the thing: Every time you make a picture of Raphael holding his sai with his fingers wrapped around the prongs, and not the handle, you’re doing it wrong! You know what the point of a sai is?  To catch the enemy’s sword or staff or something in between the prongs to disarm him.  If your fingers are there when that happens, guess what’s going to happen?