snooze button

The Snooze Button

I frickin’ hate the snooze button.  I don’t use it, and I don’t think you should either.

First of all, it’s the biggest damn button on the clock.  When my alarm goes off, I don’t want it to come back, I want it to turn off permanently.  I don’t want to get ready then, ten minutes later, wonder why I hear the radio upstairs.  Why do they make the “alarm reset” button the same size as all the others, but “snooze” is eight miles wide?  You have to maneuver like a blind man to avoid pressing it.

And why set an alarm if you’re going to turn it off anyway?  On “This American Life” they had this one guy on who kept hitting snooze, even after his girlfriend tried to wake him up.  After he told her EXPLICITLY to wake him up at a certain time.  He said “it’s like the sleep is better if it’s past when I’m supposed to get up”.  What’s with that mentality?  It’s destructive.  It’s unhealthy.  How many people are you pissing off by your slacking, bad attitude?

Maybe I’m an asshole, but I say, if you’re not going to get up, why bother setting an alarm at all?  Why bother setting anything at that time?  You’re not getting more sleep, you’re getting worse sleep for longer, wasting your life in bed.

I made sure my college girlfriend (now my wife) got up every day for class, no matter how much she complained about that she was a senior or that the grades weren’t based on lecture or it was a class she was taking for a GPA boost.  No!  You get your ass up and get moving, every day, because you never know what’s going to happen.

Eric Juneau is a software engineer and novelist on his lunch breaks. In 2016, his first novel, Merm-8, was published by eTreasures. He lives in, was born in, and refuses to leave, Minnesota. You can find him talking about movies, video games, and Disney princesses at where he details his journey to become a capital A Author.

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