Are the “It” from “It Follows” and “It” from “It” related? Asking for a friend. OMG, I think The Rescuers and the Rescue Rangers are somehow related. Maybe they’re like rival companies? The Rescue Aid Society is the big business and Rescue Rangers is the offshoot startup. I think I’ve got my next Disney crossover. What would happen if you ate the One Ring? Would it just pass through your system or could you digest it? I know stomach acid isn’t lava, but still, I don’t know what’s special about Mount Doom’s lava. Or would it just stay there? And would it make you invisible? You’re not wearing the ring…
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I Lack Empathy
I lack empathy. I mean, I don’t think I ever had empathy for people. I don’t give one hoot if they’re here or gone. I always assumed this was because I was bitter and depressed and angry for most of my life. But now that I’m on medication, I’m noticing that this not-caring is not going away. It’s not like Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory. I don’t think I have Asperger’s Syndrome or some sort of autism “thing” where just part of my brain is funny. I’m not sure I ever had it. Maybe this is why horror movies don’t affect me in the same why. I never understood…
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V/H/S: Viral
I saw V/H/S: Viral last night, and I had to rant about my disappointment. I’ve been a real fan of this series from the first. The anthology format lends itself well to the genre. The best horror stories are short stories — “The Call of Cthulu”, “The Raven”, “I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream”, “The Monkey’s Paw”, “The Lottery”. Short and sharp, like a knife stab, seems to be the best medium for fear. Five Nights at Freddy’s is essentially a short story in game form. Even stories of two sentences can have poignancy. But all these stories are solid. They don’t have to fill in everything, but a good…
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Why Am I So Damn Fascinated By Five Nights at Freddy’s?
I think it got popular because of the Let’s Plays. It’s always fun to watch people freak out. Bill Cosby said when a person is scared, that’s the only time they’re really being themself. I’ve been watching Let’s Play’s, reading the entire FN@F wiki, playing the memes. Yet I don’t own the game, and don’t plan to. It’s all jumpscares. I hate jumpscares for two reasons. They’re cheap and meaningless ways to control the audience. And I hate the way jumpscares make me feel, like a weak little kitten, manipulated, afraid of everything. Just like elementary school. Yes, I have a double standard. Deal with it.* So why am I…
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Why Do We Keep Remaking Carrie?
Why does Hollywood keep remaking Carrie? Is it that good a story? I understand the appeal. It’s simple in concept and appeals to base emotions. We all want to have superpowers. We all want to exact revenge on certain people in our lives. We all feel suppressed by “the rules” whether that’s government or religion, they always seem to have the same ridiculousness and irrelevance. But do we need four movies to tell us that (five if you count “Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver”, but let’s not talk about that). There’s the original Sissy Spacek version (1976), “The Rage: Carrie 2” (1999) which I loved, but is really the same basic story, “Carrie” the…
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I’m Not Scared of The Exorcist
As long as I’m making confessions, why don’t I do something more in theme with Halloween. I’ve never understood why people find “The Exorcist” scary. They say it’s the scariest movie ever made, but I don’t see it. I’ve always figured it must be something you have to be Christian to understand. The demon never does anything. She throws up, crawls around the ceiling, cranks her head around, floats. But she stays in bed the whole time. They cure her with bibles and holy water. Sure, I wouldn’t want that to happen to my daughter, but it’s Father Korras’s story. He’s the protagonist — he’s the one that changes. He’s the…
