Part of Your World: A Twisted Tale by Liz Braswell So there’s this “Twisted Tale” series from Disney books that’s essentially all about screwing the heroines out of their happy ending and making the story “what if” instead. I don’t know why Disney’s trying to do this. To reach a mature audience you have to make everything grimdark and miserable? The first series was villain-focused with works like “The Beast Within” and “Poor Unfortunate Souls” and then a YA adventure of Disneyland crossed with “they only come out at night”. I hated all of them passionately. I did not hate this. In fact, I kind of like it. It’s like…
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More What Ifs from The Little Mermaid
What if Ursula never gave Ariel a vagina? What if she didn’t know what one looked like, since she’s been under the sea for so long and has no interest in humans. So she just left her blank down there, like a Barbie doll, because she didn’t know there was supposed to be something else. That would explains Ariel’s lack of reaction to the new features between her legs (in that there wasn’t anything to react to). Boy, wouldn’t that be a surprise for dear old Princey.
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Ranking the Disney Princesses
Now I could be real fancy and do the same thing I did for the villains, using all kinds of nuanced criteria, calculated factors, and science theory. But fuck it, I’m just going with my heart. After all, that’s what the princesses did, right? From bottom to top: Princess Aurora She only has seventeen minutes of screen time. And she spends that either in a trance or dancing with owls and other vermin. Maybe that’s why Maleficent gets all the reviews, because it’s so easy to overshadow the protagonist. Pocahontas If it wasn’t for Aurora being such a piece of cardboard, she would get the award for worst. She’s preachy,…
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The Little Mermaid: I’m Fixing a Plot Hole Where the Ocean Gets In
One of the biggest plot holes in The Little Mermaid that everyone brings up is “Why doesn’t Ariel just write out a message to Eric?” One could have explained that away by saying mermaids have no written language if not for Ariel’s signed contract. I’ve tried to explain it by saying it’s translation convention (the same way Klingons speak Klingonese to other Klingons, but we hear it as English). It’s possible that telling him might have an effect on him falling in love with her (like ulterior motives or the fact that she’s a mermaid). However, if the alternative is turning into kelp, I might risk it. But the sad…
