I Hate My Query Letter

I’ve finished my query letter, at least the first draft. I was struck by that same sickness I get when I know my writing’s not good enough, that it’s amateurish and going to get eaten alive, but I can’t think of how to make it better. The letter doesn’t crackle, it doesn’t singe. It doesn’t say “Oh my god this is so exciting look at all the awesome events and cool stuff in this book”. It doesn’t say Psychics! Pyrokinetics! Murder! Conspiracies! Strippers! Amnesia! Social Upheaval!

I don’t know how to say that in a query letter. I need some serious help. Not unexpected, given that this is my first try. My first novel was horrendous too, compared to my skill level now. I sent the whole thing to QueryShark. I don’t know if it’s going to take a week or a month to get posted or critiqued, if at all, but I’m certain it’s going to be rejected. I just don’t know what to do to improve it. My only hope is that the story itself isn’t rejected.

Look for a subject line soon that says “Query Letter Becomes Chum”.

Eric Juneau is a software engineer and novelist on his lunch breaks. In 2016, his first novel, Merm-8, was published by eTreasures. He lives in, was born in, and refuses to leave, Minnesota. You can find him talking about movies, video games, and Disney princesses at http://www.ericjuneaubooks.com where he details his journey to become a capital A Author.

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