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Star Wars Fans Will Never Be Satisfied

I’m starting to think Star Wars fans will never be happy, no matter what. Anything after the original trilogy has been met with scorn.

They didn’t like the Holiday Special because it was cheesy, poorly written, insane, and most definitely not Star Wars.

They didn’t like Droids or Ewoks because they were cheaply-made cartoons meant to sell toys.

They didn’t like the Ewok Adventure movies because they were low-budget, childish, and too simple.

They didn’t like the re-release of the special editions because it monkeyed with the original by adding CG stuff.

They didn’t like The Phantom Menace because it was full of non-essential scenes, poor acting, “explained” things that don’t need explaining, and Jar Jar Binks.

They didn’t like Episode II or III because of poor dialogue, bad story decisions, and shoehorning characters where they don’t belong for fanservice.

They didn’t like The Clone Wars because it had no stakes (the droids can’t hit anything even at point blank range), it was cartoony, and everyone already knew its resolution.

They didn’t like The Force Awakens because it didn’t change enough from the original movie.

They didn’t like The Last Jedi because it changed too much from the original movie.

They didn’t like The Rise of Skywalker because it was written like a child playing with toys (The Emperor’s back! And Rey’s his granddaughter! And the bad guys have a million billion star destroyers. But here come all the good guys to stop them!)

They didn’t like Rogue One because it was a side story.

They didn’t like Solo because it didn’t agree with everyone’s head canon of Han Solo.

They didn’t like The Book of Boba Fett because half of it was a ripoff of Dances with Wolves and the other half was just The Mandalorian Season 2.5.

They didn’t like Obi-Wan Kenobi because it ignored canon.

They didn’t like Rebels because it was meant for kids.

They didn’t like Andor because it was meant for adults.

They didn’t like Ahsoka because you had to have watched all of The Clone Wars and Rebels to understand it. And even if you did it had terrible writing.

They didn’t like Galaxy’s Edge because it was overcrowded, expensive, exclusive, and had too little to do.

They didn’t like Galactic Starcruiser because it was too expensive for not enough value.

Everyone liked The Mandalorian… until Season 3 when it became the Bo-Katan story.

Of course, I’m being a little facetious here. I’m bringing all these works’ flaws and negative feedback to the limelight, even though most have more positive than negative reviews. Andor and Ahsoka in particular seem to be approved of by the majority (though not by me).

I think unless someone invents a device that bring people back in time and wipe their memories so they can see the original three, they’re never going to be satisfied.

Eric Juneau is a software engineer and novelist on his lunch breaks. In 2016, his first novel, Merm-8, was published by eTreasures. He lives in, was born in, and refuses to leave, Minnesota. You can find him talking about movies, video games, and Disney princesses at http://www.ericjuneaubooks.com where he details his journey to become a capital A Author.

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