crochet sweater

Crochet and the Human Experience

Sometimes I get down on the human experience — centuries of bloodshed and hate, bigotry and oppression. And it seems like it’s never going to end. 2017 and we’re still debating whether or not a sexual predator should or should not be in a position of leadership.

And then I discover something unbelievable, like crochet. You can build things both pretty and practical, like bags, potholders, sweaters, and toys. And it’s all just one long string, just knotted and looped in weird ways. If you pull the end of it, it’ll all unravel. How can you make something that’s so fragile and hearty at the same time?

And this was invented by little old French ladies in the 1500s. That’s f***ing engineering for you. How did they figure out how to do this? Where do you get from staring at this piece of string and think “I bet if I put a bunch of knots in it, it becomes a hoodie.” I mean, you’re not just talking how to construct it, but construct it in such a way that varies the pattern, the design, and volume.

And the instructions are so simple, they created simple shorthand directions to duplicate results. So someone can invent a crochet pattern and everyone can copy it. It’s like a 3-D printer from the Renaissance. It’s as improbable as beer being invented. Who knew to combine grains, hops, and other junk and let it ferment? How many people were poisoned before they found something that worked?

There’s even a Crochet Guild of America. How’s that for awesome? I’ve always wanted to belong to a guild. I’m imagining an armored paladin with a shield cozy. Do their lances look like big crochet needles?

Eric Juneau is a software engineer and novelist on his lunch breaks. In 2016, his first novel, Merm-8, was published by eTreasures. He lives in, was born in, and refuses to leave, Minnesota. You can find him talking about movies, video games, and Disney princesses at where he details his journey to become a capital A Author.

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