• Slytherin Wallpaper

    Slytherin is Best House?

    Here is an article about how Slytherin is the Best Hogwarts House (and Not Actually Evil) that I’m posting to try and justify to myself how not to be depressed that I was sorted into Slytherin. One thing I realized, one of the first things they do to convince you that you’re not doomed is citing the good wizards that graduated from the snake pit. But… really the only one they can come up with is Merlin. The rest are from the Potterverse and while their evilness may be up for debate, they are certainly douchebags. Horace Slughorn is a harsh elitist. All the rest were turncoats — Regulus Black,…

  • mcgonagall harry potter

    Stories Someone Needs to Write: What Slytherin Did

    In Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows the entire house of Slytherin sits out the Battle of Hogwarts. In the book, it’s because they all evacuate through a secret passage, like refugees. This is voluntary, as a portion of each of the other houses do stay to fight. Or it could be interpreted that McGonagall evicted them. In the movie, she explicitly orders them all to the dungeon because they’re all a bunch of untrustworthy gits. Who’s to say one of them won’t abracadabra you in the back because he wants to be in Voldemort’s good graces? They all want that awkward hug A lot of readers/viewers say this was…

  • draco mirror harry potter slytherin

    Stories Someone Needs to Write: Draco Malfoy’s Redemption

    Draco Malfoy steps off the stage in Harry Potter without really serving much punishment. His real sin is his racist beliefs and bullying infractions during six years of school (and it’s not like his Slytherin sympathizers didn’t allow this). I imagine if he were real, he’d be one of those white supremacist Tiki torch-bearers at Charlottesville (except he’d just use his wand). Like Rowling once said, he talks the talk, but a coward when he has to walk the walk. Nothing he did was anything that couldn’t be walk away from. Not like the Death Eaters who tortured and killed and manipulated anyone who stood in their way. But he…

  • harry potter sorting hat

    In Which I Find Out What Hogwarts House I’m In

    I’ve never taken a sorting hat quiz. I read all the books, watched all the movies, but never truly knew which house I’d be sorted into. Maybe because I was afraid the answer wouldn’t be what I thought. I always believed I’d be in Hufflepuff, the house for the nobodies, the extras. I’m not ambitious, I’m not clever, I’m not brave. It’s where you go if you don’t have a significant role in life. Hufflepuff is for the soldiers, the guys in the trenches working hard and not switching sides. Those who are patient, fair, humble, and tolerant. It’s for the people for, not so much what they are, but…

  • bookshelf books

    The Books I Read: January – February 2013

    Heights of the Depths (The Hidden Earth Chronicles #2) by Peter David This book wasn’t as excellent as the first one, but still pretty good. Maybe because it’s the second of a trilogy, always a disadvantage since it loses the excitement of an introduction or resolution and there’s more moving characters to a destination. Also, the eBook version had quite a few typography problems. The spacing would go from single to double with no transition, and the font size would change sometimes. It looked unprofessionally produced, which doesn’t match what I know of Peter David — a consummate writer-fo’-life. I hope this was just a blip. The book continues where…

  • Hogwarts battle harry potter

    A First-Year in Harry Potter’s Seventh Year

    You know, it must have been amazing being in school with Harry Potter. Triwizard tournaments, pranks, broomstick basketball, and classes taught by centaurs. Awesome. Well, at least if you were in the same class as Harry Potter. But what if you were younger? What if your first year in Hogwarts was Harry’s seventh year? Can you imagine that? First, you get the letter. “Ma, I’m a wizard!” You dance around! Callooh-callay! No more placement tests or China foreign policy papers. You’re going to a world full of jelly beans and unicorns and flying cars and pumpkin juice. Just like you’ve heard your friends talking about. Except you get there day…

  • bookshelf books

    The Books I Read: January – February 2012

    Holy Smoke. Last edition, I read seven books in five months. This time I read eight books in two months! Thanks eReader, but it also probably helped that I was reading at work too. Onto the books! More exclamation points!! Lightning by Dean Koontz(re-read) My wife picked this for book club because it was one of her favorites growing up. I liked it too, and you know what’s weird? The character has the same name as her. I don’t get to read books I’ve previously read too much. I’ve got so many on my to-read stack, the idea of repeating books seems negligent. I would re-read books if I could,…

  • harry potter magic

    Harry Potter and the Implausible Scenario

    “I’m half and half.  Me dad’s a muggle; Mam’s a witch.  Bit of a nasty shock for him when he found out.” The character of Seamus Finnegan spouts that line in the movie “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone”.  It’s a one-line condensation of a much bigger, more subtle part of the book, meant only to say indicate that wizards can be born from two wizards, two muggles, or one muggle and one wizard.  Parentage doesn’t seem to matter where magic prowess is concerned.  Of course, this becomes a much bigger issue in following stories.  But that’s not what I’m here to talk about. I’m here to talk about what…

  • defense against the dark arts classroom

    Common Sense in “Defense Against the Dark Arts” Class

    Professor Horatio G. Leechjigger, long robes billowing enters the room. PROFESSOR HORATIO G. LEECHJIGGER: Good morning, class. I’m your new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. Now, my expectations for you this semester are… Harry Potter walks up, casually, from his seat, and goes toward the end of the room. No one knows why–the students look at each other, confused. He stands in front of the professor, who is equally confused. PROFESSOR HORATIO G. LEECHJIGGER: Uh, yes, may I help you? Harry Potter crosses his arms. HARRY POTTER: All right, out with it. PROFESSOR HORATIO G. LEECHJIGGER: What do you mean? HARRY POTTER: Come on, what’s your deal? Harry Potter…

  • Healing Mage is On Critters (Again)

    So Healing Mage story (which I’m now calling Classless) is in Critters, which means I can get back to profitable writing on Wednesday (when it makes it out of the queue). It’s getting a shitload of critiques, more than any story I’ve ever submitted. Most people would see that a bad thing, but I think it’s good. If I have so many, that means a lot of people are reading it because they enjoyed it. Otherwise they’d just say “fuck it, this thing sucks”, and move on to the next story. If people want to read it, that means publishers want to buy it. Anyone can find things to criticize,…