Everyone’s coming in with hot takes on The Acolyte like they were Top Gunning an aircraft carrier. Critical Drinker, Film Theory, Red Letter Media, and so on–everyone’s got an opinion about every shot. Maybe I’m a fuddy-duddy, but I’m tired of the discourse-on-discourse of it all. Any time something Star Wars comes out there’s a big kerfuffle. From both production and audience, every tiny little thing in Star Wars is being scrutinized and analyzed and debated… EXCEPT whether it’s any good or not. It’s annoying. And it’s all just not fun anymore. You can be diverse and still be good. Hamilton is diverse, but no one brings that up when…
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I Hate the Scott Pilgrim Movie and You Should Too
I hate the Scott Pilgrim movie. You’d think I wouldn’t because it’s all about video games and meet-cutes and boy heroes and martial arts. But it’s just so misogynist and every character’s an asshole. Even the good guys. Stage 1: Bad Casting I hate Michael Cera (as an actor, I’m sure he’s a fine person). Some actors just rub me the wrong way and seem wrong for any role they’re in. I feel the same about Matthew Broderick, Kristen Stewart, Tom Cruise, Shia LaBeouf, and Ashton Kutcher. They’ve never done anything wrong in my eyes. They’re just… bad to watch. And Michael Cera’s top of the list for me. I…
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Don’t Think About It
If you’re wondering how he eats and breathes and other science facts, then repeat to yourself “It’s just a show, I should really just relax…” These are the last lyrics of the theme song to Mystery Science Theater 3000. This caveat exists because the premise of the show isn’t about the setting or characters or universe. It’s about making fun of bad movies. You don’t need an aesthetic for that (and in fact, RiffTrax and Cinematic Titanic have proven you don’t). It’s just some pleasant decoration around the content. A wrapper. It’s not meant to be thought about. And yet people do. There are countless fan fictions, fandoms, cosplay, puppet…
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Another Crying Writer
Waah, waah What’s that sound? Waah, waah Why, it’s the sound of another writer that can’t take criticism. The vast majority of writers, ones who are serious about their craft never say boo anytime they receive a critique, no matter what sort of language is used. If every sentence comes with “I feel” or “Most sources say that you should…” it doesn’t matter. If they’re smart, and they are, they know not to look for how it’s phrased, but what was phrased. That’s why I do at least. I’m looking for the things that more than one persons says. But there are those trolls out there who believe that their…
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The Final Word on The Shine Journal
I sent my last blog entry to said editor of The Shine Journal. As you could read, it wasn’t an apology, it wasn’t a redaction. It was a re-evaluation. I don’t know what I was expecting for a response, if I was expecting one at all, but I would have liked it to be a bit more magnanimous than it was. Her tone was extremely defensive and proud. Maybe it’s all the Lamebook I’ve been reading, but it feels like adolescent behavior–can’t leave an issue alone, attacks all forms of disparagement, always has to have the last word, uses too many exclamation points The first thing she said was that…
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Aftermath With The Shine Journal
I may have made a mistake. A big one. Maybe. This refers to the last post I made where I compared “The Shine Journal” and “Sorcerous Signals”. First, I want to say why I said what I said. To me, the name of the name game is to get published. To get published you have to get noticed. You get noticed by getting into the big magazines. To get into the big magazines, you get into the small ones first. At least that’s my battle plan. The purpose of this blog is to track my progress and leave an account of what I did or how I did it. However,…
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Fairy Kingdom Rejected From FlashQuake: Didn’t Hold My Interest
Fairy Kingdom got rejected from FlashQuake. And it looks like they give you some feedback. Two editors. One voted no. Comments: I lost interest in the first two paragraphs. Another voted no. Comments: It didn’t hold my interest. First, let me say it’s pretty awesome that they let you look at what the editors were thinking while they’re voting on your piece. I intend to look closely at the first two paragraphs of Fairy Kingdom to see what I did wrong. Second, the words “didn’t hold my interest” is the most useless piece of feedback you can get. In no way does it help me improve the story. What do…
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RFDR Killed
Well, I did something I never thought I’d do. It took some thought, because it would probably make me come off as an asshole, but there really was no way around it. I prematurely stopped an RFDR of someone. The simple fact was that there was too much wrong with the manuscript. The narrative meandered all over the prairie. It threw character after character after character after character at you. And I never understood who the protagonist was, what her goal was, what was at stake, what she needed to do to accomplish her goal, or who was trying to stop her. Those are fundamental problems that have to be…
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Remember: The Critiquer is not your friend
Some writers can be douchebags. I am one of them. Some writers are civil – nary a unkind word passes their lips. I am one of them. I’m basically however you treat me, however you regard me, however you respect me. And I don’t mean solely in direct communication – this is in anything you do. If you treat me like a king, but shit on your friends, you will earn my ire. If you slack off in your work, or behave like a Nazi, then I will treat you like the lazy-ass or holier-than-thou moron you are. And if you write terrible prose, and act like you’re the shit,…
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On a Monday, There’s a Funny Post Title
Ah, I’m done with revising a 100,000 novel that someone sent me. I had a lot of changes to make for it, and let’s just say it reminded me of a lot of fan fiction that I read. And I wonder, whenever I get done looking at someone’s work, what do people see when they look at my work. Do they see something juvenile? Professional? Do they imagine they’re reading this in a paperback form, or as someone living out their video game dreams and television wishes. My goal here is to write like the real writers write – without overwriting, or scenes that don’t go anywhere or meander –…
