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    Analyzing the Marvel Cinematic Universe Villains: New Goblin & Sandman & Venom (Spider-Man 3)

    NEW GOBLIN & SANDMAN & VENOM Real Identities: Harry Osborn & Flint Marko & Eddie Brock Spider-Man 3 (2007) Like I always say, when movies fail, the story is at the root of the problem. Not actors, not directors, not sound design, not costuming. Those can all make a movie not as good as it could be, but they don’t bring it down to a 66% meta rating after the previous had 93% and 90%. The big failing of Spider-Man 3 wasn’t the silly dancing or questionable effects, but trying to cram in too much plot (it’s frickin’ 140 min). Not only is there too much relationship drama, there are…

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    Marvel: Legendary – WandaVision

    I like to play Marvel: Legendary. I’ve got a bunch of expansion sets, and I thought I’d come up with one for WandaVision. Mastermind: Agatha HarknessAlways Leads: Bystanders. Each bystander has ATK 4 + the number of Scheme TwistsMaster Strike: Agatha’s runes prevent you from using any rules text. You can only use the printed attack or recruit from your hand this turn.Tactic 1: Cast Out Interfering Heroes: Each other player reveals their hand and discards a non-grey Hero.Tactic 2: Cast Out Interfering Humans: Each other player reveals their hand and discards a SHIELD card.Tactic 3: Remove the Interlopers: KO any number of your SHIELD Heroes.Tactic 4: Remove the Heroes:…

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    Let’s Laugh at the Guy Who Doesn’t Know Marvel Comics (Part 8)

    Phoenix When Jean Grey died (one of the times), she was brought back somehow and became Phoenix. I guess Professor X split her mind into a light part and a dark part when they first met. Either she was schizophrenic or had a Jekyll & Hyde thing going. Anyway, now that she’s Phoenix, she can do all the psychic stuff she could before and shoot fireballs. Plus she gets these sweet fire wings. Polaris She’s the only other person with magnetic powers, so I think she’s Magneto’s daughter or wife. But I’ve never heard of her, and I wonder what “Polaris” (the north star) has to do with magnetism. Or…

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    Let’s Laugh at the Guy Who Doesn’t Know Marvel Comics (Part 7)

    Mary Jane Watson Is it possible to call a minifig hot? I don’t know… something about the black t-shirt and red hair and blue jeans really works for me. Unfortunately, she’s all distress and no damsel. You’d think that after being kidnapped so many times she’d get a gun. I mean seriously, does EVERY Spider-Man movie have to end with Mary Jane in trouble? Mister Fantastic He’s a scientist, he can stretch his body like Elasti-girl or Plastic Man, and he’s got weird gray hair. According to this game, he can turn into weird stuff like a teapot and an air traffic control tower. I believe he, along with Tony…

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    Let’s Laugh at the Guy Who Doesn’t Know Marvel Comics (Part 7)

    Kingpin Henchman What the hell kind of look is this guy going for? He’s got a yellow-orange pin-striped suit top and cowboy jeans. Did someone mix and match his top and bottom like a real Lego? I think they were trying to go for some kind of mafioso-Italian chic, but it looks more like “Dad cobbles together a costume with what’s left in his closet.” It’s almost like they were designed to be disposable. Kraven the Hunter I think this is one of Spider-Man’s enemies, but I seem to recall someone in the B:TAS stalking Batman because he was “the ultimate prey”. I find it delightfully ironic that they called…

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    Let’s Laugh at the Guy Who Doesn’t Know Marvel Comics (Part 6)

    Human Torch Blond guy who can light himself on fire and shoot fireballs. Can also fly because the fire “makes the air around him lighter”. Personality is a lovable smart ass with poofy blonde hair. He’s part of a group called the Fantastic Four, which is a quartet of people who went to space and came back with powers based on the four elements. Hydra Agent I think he looks more like an agent for Lizard. Cannon fodder for the evil organization HYDRA, which is, I believe, what Hitler left behind. They are fond of saying “where one head dies, two more grow back”. How they continue to get recruits…

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    Why Can’t Superheroes Kill?

    After watching Jessica Jones (friggin’ excellent by the way, but full of horror), this question has finally coagulated enough to bubble up to the surface of my brain. One of the basic tenets of the superhero, one that decisively divides them from the villain, is this: thou shalt not kill. At least not intentionally and not mortal humans. Yes, there are exceptions: Superman killed Doomsday, Wolverine killed Jean Grey in X-Men 3, Silver Surfer allowed entire planets to be wiped out until he ‘converted’. There are characters who don’t follow the rules, like Deadpool and The Punisher, but they make it clear they are anti-heroes. They are bad guys fighting…

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    Let’s Laugh at the Guy Who Doesn’t Know Marvel Comics (Part 5)

    Ghost Rider Undead guy. With a chain-whip. Who drives a motorcycle. And his head is a skull. On fire. You’d think this guy would be more popular, but maybe it’s just one cool thing too much. He shares some anti-hero elements with the Punisher, but he made a deal with the devil to harvest nasty souls and escaped demons in exchange for… his power, I guess? I’ve never been all that clear on it. But I do like the idea of being a bounty hunter for Satan. Green Goblin I’m sorry, this guy is just too silly to be a main villain/antagonist. I mean, you talk about Batman and Joker,…

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    Let’s Laugh at the Guy Who Doesn’t Know Marvel Comics (Part 4)

    Doombot So I guess Dr. Doom has a set of “doombots”, which must be like robot servants. Which means he knows about robotics and technology. So does that mean he’s supposed to be a mad scientist or a mad dictator? This might be the reason I’m not that thrilled with him — he’s too much like Lex Luthor. Cause inventors thrive on the accolades and praise they get from inventions. But dictators want to dominate. Anyway, cute little robots. Doombot (V-Series) Less cute.  I guess Doom needed something to take on heavy hitters like Hulk and Thing.  I particularly like the little fan thing around his neck.  Looks like a dilophosaurus…

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    Let’s Laugh at the Guy Who Doesn’t Know Marvel Comics (Part 3)

    Carnage When the Venom symbiote had some kind of offspring, it attached to a Hannibal Lecter-dangerous serial killer and became Carnage — a super-energized, more agile Venom. I was first exposed to him in the Spider-Man and Venom: Maximum Carnage and thought this was an awesome villain, one that no one seems to remember. Same powers as Venom but quite a bit more wispy and agile. Still vulnerable to sound. Colossus A giant Russian man who can transform his body to metal (not sure if that’s skin or whole body). Reminds me of Ivan Drago. “I must break him.” I think he’s Kitty Pryde’s boyfriend, but I imagine that must…