In another episode in “Eric Never Gets What He Wants”… “[Canada] Bill’s longtime partner, George Devol, stumbled across Bill losing his shirt in a clearly rigged poker game. George tried to convince Bill to quit the game, arguing he couldn’t possible win. Bill famously retorted ‘I know it’s crooked, but it’s the only game in town’.” When I read on Facebook that there was going to be a D&D Adventurer’s Guild at my local game shop, I was excited. Finally, a chance to play D&D, maybe make some friends. I love playing RPGs but I never get the chance because no one around me is like me. There is nothing…
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Why I Decided to Send My Kids Back to School
Yeah, it’s a controversial opinion and one you wouldn’t expect me to make. I wouldn’t expect me to make it. I am very firmly on the side of “take this virus seriously” because it’s not a flu. You could get brain damage, lung damage, kidney damage, etc. But I also know my kids. I know what they need I know what’s best for them and their lives and me & my wife know they are better off going to school and risking the virus. Since I’m sure you’re all fascinated by my decision-making process, I’m going to outline my reasons here. Distance Learning Sucks Donkey Balls So last year, school…
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Guest Authors at my Kids’ School
So at my kids’ elementary school, they have authors come in for talks. Seems like this happens about once a year. It’s great for the kids because they get to meet the people behind the books. And I’d be boosting this even if I wasn’t an author. It’s important to learn that products don’t come out of thin air — it takes hard work, research, patience, and teamwork. It’s like going to a farm to understand where their food comes from — it doesn’t just appear in the grocery store. That we eat other living things and that’s okay — that’s the food chain. It’s good for the authors too…
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Somebody at Work Keeps Bringing Their Kid In
Somebody at work keeps bringing their kid in and I thought this would be a good thought experiment. My intention is to demonstrate what’s going through the heads of those people who want to burn down health care, transgender bathrooms, marijuana regulation, immigration reform, and the like. Someone at work, an Indian woman, one of the QA, brings her kid in to work about once a month for the past two months. Seven or eight-year-old boy. Mostly he plays on an iPad all day, but I occasionally see him run around or during an all-team meeting, coming to get his Mom for something. He doesn’t make trouble. THE EMOTION This…
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Explaining the Holocaust to My Daughter
So I’d like to thank my wife for cleaning out all her history teaching stuff today, which prompted this question at dinner. “Dad, what is the Holocaust?” If there ever was an example of passing the buck. But far be it from me to deny my children knowledge. I am a story-teller. I should be able to compose for an audience. Obscuring complex, tragic events from history just does a disservice. Okay, so do you know what World War II is? No. Okay, do you know who Hitler was? Not really. Okay. Hitler was the “president” of Germany. And he was an evil president. And he wanted to get rid…
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My Daughters and Star Wars
My daughters are 5 and 7. My wife loves Star Wars so they’ve seen the movie before. They kinda know what happens in it, they know who the characters are, but they don’t quite know how they glue together. Now imagine that you’re the Dad, who can’t open one web page without stepping into a full analysis of why Wicket is the best/worst Ewok. The result is the five-year-old can’t stop asking questions and the seven-year-old gets emotionally distraught because Darth Vader (who is her favorite character for reasons I can’t fathom) dies at the end. You get a frustrated daddy. That’s what. I’ve got to read all of Jabba…
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And Now My Confession
At first, I was like… But then I saw My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, and I was like… Call me a brony, call me a nutjob, call me mentally deficient. All I know is I have two little girls. Either I can let them choose whatever trashy, shallow 20-minute commercial happens to be on when Daddy needs to pay bills, or I can choose for them. I choose MLP, and they approve. When I pop in the DVD, they fly around with their Rainbow Dash toys which we got from McDonald’s months ago, and had no context for until now. This is not a show I just set on,…
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Recommending a Game System? For Kids?
My brother-in-law was talking to my wife about what kind of video game system to maybe get his kids (one first-grader boy, one near kindergarten girl and one one-year old girl, who I presume won’t be playing). I’m the closest thing to a video game authority within four generations and eight degrees of separation, and yet, I have no idea what these kids might like. My kids still have trouble wrapping their heads around a computer. I show my two-year-old the iPod and all she does is finger through the menus. She occasionally accidentally presses an icon, then immediately backs out with the center button. I’ve tried getting my almost-four-year-old…
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Froggy’s Baby Sister Sucks
You know, I am really sick of men/boys/males condescending to girls for… really, no reason. The reason I’m cheesed off is that there’s this book I’m often reading to my two girls — Froggy’s Baby Sister by Jonathan London. You can hear the full-text read aloud here. It bothers me because its got some stereotypical lines where the male lead does not like his baby sister for the sole reason that she’s a girl. That wouldn’t be so bad if the story showed she was just as awesome because she’s a girl, but it never does. Even if it did redeem that, I’d still have a problem. I don’t know…
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For My Fellow Parents
Someday I will be able to leave my remotes on the table.Someday a whole day in my house will go by without anyone crying.Someday my Bill Cosby impersonation will be appreciated.Someday I will be able to eat a snack without anyone asking for some of it.Someday outings will not need to be scheduled around nap times.Someday will be the last day I have to look at someone else’s poop.Someday I will go to the basement and no one will care.Someday I will go to a restaurant and everyone will eat the food that the restaurant provides.Someday bedtime won’t be a ritual.Someday everyone in the house will speak perfect, understandable English.Someday…
