So my wife was telling me the other day that, since the rights to James Bond were sold to Amazon, she’s worried about what’s going to happen to the franchise. And all I can think is “See ya, wouldn’t want to be ya!” Because I don’t know if I mentioned this before, but I don’t care for James Bond. All the 007 movies could be erased from the planet tomorrow and I wouldn’t give a fig. He’s narcissistic, misogynistic, quippy, arrogant, flamboyant, a know-it-all, and above ever getting injured. Come on, he’s a Mary Sue. And it’s hypocritical not to point it out when others only dump on women protagonists…
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Don’t Think About It
If you’re wondering how he eats and breathes and other science facts, then repeat to yourself “It’s just a show, I should really just relax…” These are the last lyrics of the theme song to Mystery Science Theater 3000. This caveat exists because the premise of the show isn’t about the setting or characters or universe. It’s about making fun of bad movies. You don’t need an aesthetic for that (and in fact, RiffTrax and Cinematic Titanic have proven you don’t). It’s just some pleasant decoration around the content. A wrapper. It’s not meant to be thought about. And yet people do. There are countless fan fictions, fandoms, cosplay, puppet…
