• scrooge christmas carol cartoon coal

    Ways In Which A Christmas Carol Ends Badly

    Tiny Tim dies of his disease anyway. Scrooge’s good tidings come too little too late for the long suffering boy. What is he suffering from anyway? Rickets? Tuberculosis? Renal failure? It’s not like modern medicine’s been invented. Ain’t no such thing as antibiotics yet. “Tiny Tim, who did NOT die…” Everyone dies, Dickens, just a matter of when. Scrooge becomes like Marley anyway — a wandering ghost with chains and lockboxes and safes strapped to him. A lifetime of greed and covetousness doesn’t make up for a few years of charity at the end of your life. The Powers That Be can’t ignore the years of suffering of the citizens…

  • santa claus sleigh reindeer christmas flag

    My Christmas List – 1992

    I found some old text files of mine and thought I’d share their delight with you, along with some commentary from an older and wiser author. I think it’s missing some numbers because I eventually deleted the things I’d gotten. Maybe someday I’ll cross-reference with my diary to see what I actually got. Also note, I would have been eleven years old at this time. CHRISTMAS LIST `92 1. 13-in. TV with remote control Ah, youth. A TV in my room seemed like the pinnacle of luxury. Nowadays, you can afford an entire entertainment center — computer, TV, stereo. But to me, a thirteen-inch TV with remote seemed to me…

  • king moonrace lion rudolph

    King Moonracer

    Three years ago I wrote about The Island of Misfit Toys and how the “dolly for Sue” seemed out of place. This year I saw a children’s production of “Rudolph” and another thought occurred to me. Who is King Moonracer? He’s arguably the coolest character in the show. A giant flying lion, emperor of an arctic kingdom full of sentient automatons, named for a giant celestial object going 2,288 MPH. The fascination abounds. And he only gets one scene. In the play, they had to make this big (presumably expensive) puppet for him, and he has two or three lines, never seen again. What’s the deal? Where did this guy…

  • santa claus desert island

    Misfit Toys

    Here’s what I don’t get. You know in “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” where they have the Island of Misfit Toys? That’s where Charlie-in-the-Box blows the conch shell and they all go hunting for the spotted elephant. Then the cowboy on the ostrich shoots it with the water gun that shoots jelly. He sticks its polka-dotted trunk on a pike and they all dance around it? Wait… wrong island. That’s Lord of the Flies. That’s the one. It has the stuttering boat that can’t f-f-float and the bird that doesn’t fly, it swims. They’re all misfits. Except one, far as I can tell. What’s the deal with the doll? There doesn’t…

  • final fantasy 8 christmas fan art

    Featured Fan Fiction: Balamb Garden’s Yuletide Vacation (Final Fantasy 8)

    I think this is the only true comedy in my list. Sunshine in Winter is close, but that is more of a tragic romance. This is more like a Shakespearean comedy of errors. Plus it’s Christmas-themed to boot. It puts our favorite FF8 characters through all the great holiday stories. Squall becomes Mr. Scrooge. Zell is in “It’s a Wonderful Life”. Seifer plays “Phantom of the Opera” (okay, maybe they’re not all Christmas-themed). Quistis deals with her relationship with a boring man and the mystery of Seifer. And Christmas carols proliferate throughout. It’s a feel-good story — a rare gem in a medium filled with angst and drama. These may…