YZMA Origin: The Emperor’s New Groove (2000) I really don’t want to do this one. The whole movie is a radical departure from the golden fairy tale or epic quest of derring-do. This feels more like a long Saturday Morning cartoon. Even the art style feels cheaper. I’ll give Disney props for taking risks, but this one just doesn’t click. Given all the production issues present, I’m not surprised. Motivation: Well, at least I can give credit for providing the main character motivation within the piece. Usually, the villain’s instantiating incident happens before the movie. But the story is short enough as it is — maybe it was just filler.…
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Avatar: Not a James Cameron Movie
I recently discovered the joy of Avatar: The Last Airbender — a great cartoon with bad timing. My first introduction to Avatar was on Nickelodeon. A channel that was most known for Spongebob Squarepants and The Fairly Oddparents. In other words, cartoons for stoners. Plus it came out around the time that James Cameron’s movie was big buzz, so I thought it was piggybacking on a known IP. It was an “American-made anime” meaning it had that cheap-looking animation. Heavily Asian influenced style. Who is this main character that looks like the baby from Dragonball Z? With weird blue markings and he looks 10. Then the terrible movie came out…
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And Now My Confession
At first, I was like… But then I saw My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, and I was like… Call me a brony, call me a nutjob, call me mentally deficient. All I know is I have two little girls. Either I can let them choose whatever trashy, shallow 20-minute commercial happens to be on when Daddy needs to pay bills, or I can choose for them. I choose MLP, and they approve. When I pop in the DVD, they fly around with their Rainbow Dash toys which we got from McDonald’s months ago, and had no context for until now. This is not a show I just set on,…
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My Top Ten Hottest Women Who Aren’t Real (10 through 7)
10. Rosalina I had some trouble with the number ten spot, whether to put Rosalina or Peach here (and for a time, it was Magica DeSpell. Jeez, what was I thinking?). Peach has some cute aspects, but ultimately I decided that A) Peach is still pretty damn annoying, always getting kidnapped and B) Peach has only gotten hot in recent years. Before that she was obnoxiously saccharine, bland, and no matter what incarnation, her voice was grating. She only achieved notoriety with me by donning skimpy bathing suits and tennis outfits in fan art. I probably wasn’t supposed to write that part. Rosalina, however, has always been hot. She’s tall,…
