In addition to problems with reading (that I mentioned last time), I’m also still struggling to stay writing (and not watch YouTube videos all during lunch hour). I think it has to do with two reasons. One is my new job. Don’t get me wrong, I like it. It’s very easy to hide here. They don’t assign me much work (or know if they’ve assigned me work). I feel like a relief pitcher, kept around in case they need me for something.
But in this spatial environment I feel very exposed. There are “enclaves”, but they have glass doors, like I’m in a zoo. And they’re closed in so they get quite hot. It’s very hard to find a private space in this building. So far, I’ve found a “huddle” room that seems out of the way, but it’s all the way across campus. Also I use a Virtual Machine for my work now. So that takes away some of line-drawing between “it’s writing time now” and “back to work (and YouTube videos)”. I guess there’s nothing stopping me from using one, but I’m not 100% sure my little laptop could take it.
The other reason is what a dismal failure “Defender” was. Even fewer bites than Merm-8. And I “designed” it for marketability. I planned it out for multiple books. I had humor, death, suspense, all that. But no. No one gave a shit. I know I’ve talked about this before, but this is disheartening. Reprise was written fast and hard because I didn’t care what I was writing. I knew it was only going to be two drafts, even with a complex serialized storyline, because it was just fan fiction. I never thought about the story in terms of publication-friendly. Maybe that’s part of my problem with naga story — fear is crippling my ability to generate ideas.
It’s weird because I feel like everything stoppered after I finished “Reprise“. I haven’t fulfilled any compositions. I cut the revisions of some short stories short — only two drafts — because I felt I couldn’t revise them anymore. That means I’ve either peaked or I’ve got a short attention span. (Or I simply got bored and wanted to move on.)
One thing I’m going to do is start doing writing prompts. One every day. I’ve got a host of them programmed in my personal thesaurus to spit one out randomly. I don’t have ficlets/ficly anymore to inspire me. So if I’m going to do any composing, it might as well be randomly. Maybe it’ll help me kickstart ideas for naga story.
