Origin: Home on the Range (2004)
You’ve got… to be… kidding me. Do I have to do this one?
Motivation: In the mine, Slim reveals his plan to take revenge on all the ranch owners who fired him because of his singing. He steals the cattle from his former employers and when they can’t pay the rent, he buys the land at auction, using the money from the rustled cattle. Sigh.
Character Strengths: I… don’t think he has any. I think this might be the first Disney villain with no redeemable qualities. He can’t hold down a job. He has no secondary interests. I guess I could give him credit for thinking of such a xanatos gambit, but I’m not even sure he’s smart enough to thought of it. Between the two of them, I’d put money on his horse, Rico. For chrissakes, his secret identity is Mr. Y. O’Dell.
Evilness: It’s the wild west, so there’s no reason not to get wild. The law is few and far between, so you can pretty much get away with anything. That means while the good guys fritter away, the bad guys are free to grab their fair share and more. Even if you’re doing a crime, you can get away with it if the crimestoppers are few and far between. Makes me wonder why Slim had to make up such an elaborate ruse to exact his “vengeance”. This is like DS9: The House of Quark where the Klingon is trying seize power through financial scheming like a Ferengi. (Give yourself ten points if you understood that.)
Tools: Alameda Slim’s uses his secret power of yodeling that causes the cows to dance and fall under hypnotic control. Please read that sentence again, so that you can appreciate the full essence of it.
Complement to the Hero: I really hate stories where the conflict is that the good guy can’t pay his/her bill because she’s “doing it for the love”, not the profit. But here comes the evil bad guy to evict her, all part of his evil plot, bwa ha ha. People, this is business. This is capitalism. You’ve Got Mail, Drag Me to Hell, they can all rot in my ass. If you’re not making money, you don’t get a free pass in life. The world is not a charity. This is capitalism. Or maybe that should be…
This… is… capitalism!
Fatal Flaw: I guess I could say that Alameda’s ego got the better of him when he saw Jennifer Tilly-Cow immune to his charms. He fails to catch her, but scraps up enough of his pride to seize Happy Day Farm under his guise of Yancy O’Dell (seriously, I still want to throw up when I hear that. Did they design this for toddlers?)
Method of Defeat: Alameda Slim gets stuck in the train’s smokestack. He starts to yodel just as Roseanne-Cow whips the bell around her neck to throw at him. Just as she falls under his spell, the cowbell launches, but off-target. Jennifer Tilly-Cow jumps and ninja-kicks the cowbell at Slim to plug his mouth. The old inept sheriff lassos him (he’s stuck in a chimney, where is he going?), muzzles him with a handkerchief, and sends him to jail. The old farm lady takes the reward money for his capture and uses it to buy back her farm.
Final Rating: One star
Rourke (Atlantis: The Lost Empire)
The Evil Queen (Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs)
Ursula (The Little Mermaid)
Dr. Facilier (The Princess and the Frog)
Gaston (Beauty and the Beast)
Willie the Giant (Mickey and the Beanstalk)
The Queen of Hearts (Alice in Wonderland)
Shan Yu (Mulan)
The Horned King (The Black Cauldron)
Mother Gothel (Tangled)
Cobra Bubbles (Lilo and Stitch)
Cruella De Vil (101 Dalmatians)
Madame Medusa (The Rescuers)
Captain Hook (Peter Pan)
Amos Slade (The Fox and the Hound)
Madam Mim (The Sword in the Stone)
Claude Frollo (The Hunchback of Notre Dame)
Scar (The Lion King)
Prince John (Robin Hood)
Edgar (The Aristocats)
Ratigan (The Great Mouse Detective)
Maleficent (Sleeping Beauty)