Smoke Detectors Are Evil

Today I woke up at 5:00 AM to the sound of the smoke detector beeping. The smoke detector beeps because it’s out of battery. It beeps every 30 seconds. The beep would make a reptile go insane in five minutes.

The problem is that A) you are half asleep, but cannot possibly go to sleep until you find out which smoke detector is beeping. Also B) you have baby monitors running through the house, so it sounds like 1,000 smoke detectors are going in all different directions.

I stood up on a chair in our bedroom, trying to discern if it was coming from our room or not. It sounded like it, but the flashes didn’t match the beeps. After some cantankerous pondering, I went downstairs to get a battery.

Then I saw the baby monitor equalizer going up with the beep. Sure enough, it was in her room. And she was starting to wake up. I changed the battery while my wife came in to put her in the swing, the back-up baby sleepmaker.

Of course, then I couldn’t get back to sleep because it was 5:00 AM and there was sunlight bright as day glowing behind the picture window in our bedroom, which I face.

Thank you, smoke detector. Thank you for letting us know you were out of battery in the middle of the night. If our baby had spontaneously combusted, or any of the other many flammable things in the baby’s room, I would have been wracked with regret, if I’d only known the smoke detector was out of battery and not plugged into the electricity in the house.

Eric Juneau is a software engineer and novelist on his lunch breaks. In 2016, his first novel, Merm-8, was published by eTreasures. He lives in, was born in, and refuses to leave, Minnesota. You can find him talking about movies, video games, and Disney princesses at http://www.ericjuneaubooks.com where he details his journey to become a capital A Author.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.