Hey, Goat Boy? Remember the Gremlins?
Hey, do you remember Gremlins? Oh sure, it was a cute little comedy-horror movie from the 80’s. Written by Chris Columbus, directed by Joe Dante, and produced by Stephen Spielberg–how can you lose? Cute, merchandisable Gizmo gives birth to a town’s worth of ugly, scaly guys who mess up traffic lights, watch old Disney movies, and catapult old ladies into the yard.
Okay, good, you remember. If you don’t, Netflix it. I promise you won’t be disappointed.
For those of you still with me, remember that scene where Phoebe Cates is in the bar serving all the Gremlins? They’re making a mess of everything, throwing popcorn everywhere, hanging from the ceiling fan, playing poker in the back, smoking. Acting like gremlins usually do, right? Okay, exactly what was the scenario when those gremlins walked into the bar? Did Phoebe Cates just stand there, watching these two-foot tall alien guys traipsing in. Did one climb up to the stool as she’s cleaning the bar with a rag and she said “What can I get you?”
These are the things I think about when I’m mowing the lawn.
P.S. Also, why does water make gremlins multiply, but the snow does nothing.
P.P.S. Also, in Gremlins 2, they have a building with an infinite supply of water. Why didn’t they breed enough so that they were bursting out the window?
BONUS: Here’s an awesome fan-created video of what would have happened if the film break that takes place in the middle of Gremlins 2 was changed for DVD.